U-M rolls out new eco-friendly workstations

By | April 1, 2021

The Michigan IT Steerage Committee is happy to announce a new, high-end desktop workstation for use in both the academic and medical center environments across the university. 

Introducing the Future Object-Oriented Laptop, a brand-new technology designed to be more “green”—sustainable, biodegradable, and using fewer heavy metals and less electricity to create and to operate—than contemporary workstations. Included in the set is an integrated keyboard and a removable, paper-thin display. 

A typewriter with an iPad propped up where the paper usually goes. The iPad reads "Future Object-Oriented Laptop"
(Rachael Wojciechowski)

“I really like this new tech tool,” said Aprille Asinus, technology manager and early adopter. “It’s so heavy that I can work in a coffee shop (with my mask on) and head to the bathroom without worrying that it’ll be stolen. But I will admit that playing solitaire just isn’t the same.” Luckily for Asinus, a pack of playing cards is available as an add-on.

Fans of cybersecurity will be pleased, too. This is the most secure technology ever built because it stumps literally all hackers, there aren’t any pesky system updates to put off, and they never, ever crash.

The high-end package includes a math co-processor—perfect for nimble fingers for when budgets come due or for jobs that require heavy data processing.

Administrators will also appreciate this device. What’s more, not only are there no additional cables or dongles to purchase, but there is also no need to find the budget for new computers or deal with depreciation schedules.

The used, dried up typing ribbons can be upcycled. The package has instructions for making squirrel fashion, including how to weave a tiny jacket, knit a tail cozy, or make a tiny face mask. Users can slip the upcycled garments onto the little squirrel bodies, and watch with delight as they scamper about Campus, well-protected against the cold and safe from COVID-19. 

The new FOOL workstations will be rolled out across the Michigan IT landscape as existing workstations reach the end of their operational life. It will be also available for personal purchase at the Tech Shop. Pre-order now and use promo code “fool2021” for 4.1% off the list price. Payroll deduction is available for U-M faculty and staff members. For more information please visit the project website.